FBI Director Kash Patel defends bestiality hiring policy in heated Senate hearing

FBI Director Kash Patel was forced on Tuesday to answer why his agency is no longer automatically disqualifying applicants who engaged in bestiality. What followed was a perplexing exchange that highlighted the deep absurdity of our current political moment.

Democratic Senator Dick Durbin kicked off the bestiality questioning.

"According to a memo issued this June, the FBI has lowered its hiring standards by dropping automatic disqualification for applicants who have stolen from their employers, paid for sex, or are engaged in bestiality. In July, you claimed the FBI is 'losing too many qualified candidates to the rigors of requirements from yesteryear,'" Durbin said. "Director Patel, do you believe those who have previously stolen from employers, solicited sex, or are engaged in bestiality are qualified candidates that the FBI is losing?"

"What we did was, we did not want to punish victims of bestiality—victims who were trafficked," Patel replied, failing to clarify that the FBI was not in fact making it easier to hire people who had sex with animals. "We did not want to make it an automatic disqualification for the FBI to consider you if you are a victim of these awful, heinous acts."

"He's no longer protecting those who've been charged with bestiality, he's protecting those who are victims. Just turned it upside down," Durbin replied. "What I'm reading to you is you dropped automatic disqualification for applicants who have been engaged in bestiality, not victims of bestiality. Applicants who have engaged. Do you disagree with that?"

"Applicants who have engaged in bestiality means they were victims of bestiality because they were forced to do so," Patel said. "And at this FBI, we are not going to criminalize and prevent victims from serving the United States of America and the premier law enforcement agency in the world."

Even Republican Senator John Kennedy was stunned by Patel's answer, arguing with the FBI director about the loosened hiring standards.

"What about the bestiality?" Kennedy said, genuinely confused.

"It automatically disqualified any individual who participated on either side of it," Patel replied.

"Either side of what, the bestiality?"

"Yes."

"So you disqualified the animal?"

"Well, we have great canines, but we're not going to disqualify them," Patel said, a poor attempt at a joke.

"I'm trying to understand why you did this.... And I understand the game. People try to make you look bad. We do the same thing when the other party's in office," Kennedy continued. "Why would you even get into bestiality?"

"We are not into bestiality—"

"I know you're not, but you changed the qualifications and mentioned bestiality. If Joe participated in bestiality—not as the animal but as the human—don't you think he ought to be disqualified?" Kennedy asked, still confused.

"If he voluntarily did it, sure. But if he was trafficked into it…"

"How do you involuntarily do it?"

"In a lot of these cases, when human traffickers … they don't just traffic you for prostitution. They traffic you for degrading acts of all kinds," Patel said. "And some of these individuals would go on to be law enforcement officers, who qualified to be law enforcement officers and later applied to the FBI."

"When you saw bestiality, I say this with respect. The person who recommended it, why didn't you just say, 'What planet did you parachute in from? Why do I wanna lead with my chin and get into bestiality?!'" Kennedy hollered.

"That was my initial response, senator. But they then explained to me and showed me cases in which people were forced into it and had applied to the FBI, and so I thought they should be considered. It's not an automatic disqualification. That's all," Patel said, alluding to an apparently significant number of bestiality victims who want to join the FBI.

"Okay, all right. I think I understand. But you're not telling us today that if a human being had sex with an animal, that they can still be an FBI agent," Kennedy asked.

"No, they cannot."

"In fact, they oughta be in jail, right?"

"They all are."

"Yeah, well. OK."

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